Communications - The Art of Conversation

March Light 2015

What does it take to be an effective communicator?  I've been seeking the answer to this question since early in the 1980's some 35 years and counting.

I believe good communications begins with me.  If I can't understand where I'm coming from or what I want or need; how will I ever be able to express these concepts to others?

First, I need to appreciate my value and worth.  Only after finding this am I able to see what it is I seek from others.  

Conversation is about sharing thoughts and ideas with oneself and others.  We all must be aware of self and others to make this work.  For that moment in time we must stop and listen in order to be understood.  I feel listening to oneself is key to being able to really listen to others.

Once I became self aware of my needs and wants I found I valued what others had to say much more.  I found the capacity to hear and reflectively listen to what was being said to me. 

It is truly amazing to hear the joy in the voice of another when they feel heard.  Such a simple thing to restate what they said but when you do it well there's a feeling of accomplishment beyond what you could have achieved alone.  

Great conversations builds on what each participant has to say.  To do this you have to first take the time to truly understand not only yourself but also the others engaging with you.  

When I smile and truly feel like smiling, many people want to say, "Hi."  Sometimes they will even stop to exchange a few words.  The more positive I am the longer the conversation.  

How do I smile when there's so much to do, so many issues to resolve?  I remember why I'm doing what I do.  I remember that for me my purpose is to create computer systems that support successful patient care outcomes.  I work within teams of technology and clinical experts to find solutions.  Many times those answers are complex but when I take the time to understand all parties involved and restate what I think I heard I find clarity and appreciation.  

No matter what we all have to appreciate one another for there to be true communication and understanding.  If I only think of what I need and want I'll never truly hear what others are asking.  There has to be a balance and a give and take that can only come from a place of true belief in self and others.